We arrived at the Monsenor at 3AM. It had been a long day. Spoke to the receptionist and handed over 1 passport. We were then instructed to stand in front of a video camera to have our mugshot taken. This photo of YOU, taken at 3AM, appears on your All-Inclusive Identity card. So remember to smile!

Here are our cards!

Remember to SMILE!

Take these cards with you to the bars and restaurant EVERYTIME!

We were then presented with a badly photocopied map of the Hotel. The receptionist drew us some blue lines on our map showing us where to go, what lift to get in, what level to stop at. Clear as MUD! 3AM, tired, sober! just wanna get to my room! Jump in lift one. Press 3. Zoom up to the next inter-connecting walkway to the next lift, dragging behind 2 very heavy suitcases. 3AM, Lift 2, press 2, zoom up to the next inter-connecting walkway to the third and final lift. Enter lift and press 2. Gotcha. Easy peasy (not). On the top of the complex, 3AM. Totally LOST! Down a long slope, suitcases dragging behind. Find apartment block. H3. We are at the bottom of the H block (not cell block H). Our room is at the top of H block. Dragging the cases behind, 3AM, getting annoyed, find our way back to lift 3. Enter and press 2. Walk up steep path, head for the tennis court, turn left and walk forward to find H block. Find room by going down 4 sets of stairs, dragging 2 increasingly heavy suitcases.

Here is a photo of the maps that are scattered around the hotel. Study it as it may help you to find your room a bit quicker than we did.

Just so you can see how many stairs there are here, take a look at this!